What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.