How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.