What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
What happened when Napoleon got killed with a bomb?
Napoleon Blownapart.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
Fortune-teller was killed by a car bomb
Couldn’t foresee the C4.
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
He made some excellent points.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
Apparently, it was a Dyson.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.