Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
"Aloe you vera much."
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
I always have a souper time with you.
You met all of my koala-fications
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
I have bean thinking about you.
I pitcher us together forever.
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
"Yoda one for me."
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
You make miso happy.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
when I’m with you.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
I get a real kick out of you.
-
One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
I cannoli be happy
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
You’re udder-ly perfect.
You octopi my thoughts.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.