You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
I have bean thinking about you.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
Owl always love you.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
You octopi my thoughts.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
You're my purr-son.
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
I get a real kick out of you.
"I wood never leaf you."
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
I’m soy
into you.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
I love you deerly.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
"You bake me crazy."
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
Your love will always be up to par.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
You’re right up my alley.