What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.