What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.