How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.