Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.