Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.