- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.