What did the doctor tell the skeleton who wanted to donate his body to science?
Spine on the dotted line.
"No body won the skeleton race."
Why was the skeleton so lonely?
He had no body.
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
What is a skeletons favorite meal?
Anything with Ribs.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
"Dying to have fun."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
"Bone to be wild."
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
What does a skeleton play in a band?
A Trom-Bone.
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?
Because it’s got a marrow waistline.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
"Bugs and hisses."
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
Why are bones so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?
A rib cage match.
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.