I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.