What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!