Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.