What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.