How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.