What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.