What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.