Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.