What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!