Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.