Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.