Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
We’re a perfect mash.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
I love you a tot!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.