Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.