Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬