Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.