There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.