Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.