Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? That hertz.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
How Many Engineers Does It Take to Assemble a Futon?
Three…and a psychologist!
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Why was the software engineer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.