What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!