For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory