What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.