What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!