How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.