What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr