Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.