Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.