Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.