What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....