How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!