How do you make a dog stop barking in the backyard?
Move him to the front yard.
I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.
It was a millennial falcon.
I was walking by a yard sale the other day.
I saw a radio for $1. The volume dial was broken but I knew I couldn’t turn that down.
I was trying to reshape the border of my backyard when my neighbors' fence fell over...
Wrong post.
I really wish my five-year-old son would make up his mind! First, he said he wanted a treehouse in the backyard, but now, he says he doesn't need it…
Took me twenty years to grow that thing!
Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"
My neighbor planted dogwood trees in his front yard.
I’m not a huge fan of the bark.
My wife got mad at me for playing catch with my son in the backyard
... I didn’t see the big deal until I dropped him.
A mother catches her 12-year-old son smoking in the backyard...
"Jimmy, I can't believe this! Smoking is terrible for you, and you're so young!" Jimmy replies, "Don't worry mom, I only smoke when I'm drunk."
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.