How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.