It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”