How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.