What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!