What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
I love you from my head tomato
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
I hope for world peas.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
I yam what I yam.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
This foundation is rock salad.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What a spud muffin.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Time to celery-brate.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
I think therefore I yam.
Keep calm and carrot on.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.