"They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late."
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”
— Shannon L. Alder
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz
"Resting is a part of the process, even if it’s not a part of the plan."
— Carley Schweet
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.”
— Harvey Specter
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
“The bags under my eyes are Prada.”
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself."
— Anne Lamott
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
"I’m so hot that I contribute to global warming."
"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."
― Robert Downey Jr.
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
"I am not an early bird or night owl; I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon."
"It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
― Germany Kent
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
"I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted."
"Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax."
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?””
– Sydney Harris
“Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.”
– A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar
"Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you."
— Katie Reed
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."
— Bill Murray
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
― Margaret Mead
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
"I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning."
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
“Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell