“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
- Robert Brault
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”
- Ugo Betti
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”—Ogden Nash
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
“My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”
- Nick Kroll
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
“The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”
- Erma Bombeck.