"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns